Can I Write An Empowering or Inspiring Post Without Posing In My Underwear?

As I start 2019,  I realise I have gotten really down by looking at the news and that I need more positive and inspiring in my life.  So as I scroll through my Instagram feed, I see that I follow a lot of women who have found their voice and have positive things to say. The only thing that I find very confusing, as that many of them are posing seductively in their underwear, in front of a mirror, or on their unmade bed. 


Now these posts are not by centerfolds or pin up girls. These are smart, intelligent women, talking about empowering others, confidence and self love. One of them is a birth doula, which I follow because in my past life ( well in my younger years) I was a doula. Apparently she is a sexy half naked birth doula..or that is how “I” see her portraying herself. 

The problem I have is that for years, women used their near naked body to attract men,  now it seems they post their near naked bodies to attract a woman following on social media. But why? Can’t your message get across to people without showing your non perfect booties and boobies? Which is the point of their posts… they have confidence, feel empowered and feel self love even without perfect bodies.  Great… we all know this is possible because it has been drilled into our heads for years. We are more than our body. We are our hearts and our minds… why, why, why, are you still using your body on social media? 

Why must you  quote a  100 year old book,  that is not remotely associated with the words naked, lace panties or sexy poses while showing a photo of yourself half naked in lace panties in a sexy pose…I just don’t get it. 

Please tell me all about your self empowerment with a picture of you doing something with confidence and empowerment, beyond selfies on your bed. Then I will take you seriously. Maybe climbing that mountain, chasing your kids, getting that degree or that finished novel that you always say you are writing.

I am really happy you are confident about your non perfect body. Lots of us are…some of us aren’t, but we still manage to carry on with our lives, and doesn’t mean that there is something wrong or lacking with us. 

The majority of us do not need all of the reinforcement from our tribe about ‘how great we look’,  ‘how brave we are’ or ‘ how they wish they had confidence like that’.  If you truly want to help other women find their true self, show us pictures of some real goals that you crushed. Because after all, your whole message is about how an imperfect body is still beautiful, smart and caring. Show me… because all I am seeing is someone who needs to post photos in their underwear for attention. If we are more than our bodies…then show me something more than your body! Or at the very least, your body and your brain doing something empowering.

I have a really hard time taking advice on confidence from someone doing yoga splits in their panties, on their kitchen counter…..because ewww, do you cook on that counter? 

I have a really hard time taking advice on empowerment and goals from someone who maybe moonlighting for a Penthouse spread on the side. Unless posing for Penthouse was your goal…then woohoo, you did it girl. 

Are we as a society still so obsessed by our looks, and our naked bodies that we are now selling empowerment on Instagram with almost naked bodies? It seems totally opposite of what the message is about. I guess it is still true. Sex Sells. and we are really no farther ahead in women’s issues than we were in the 70’s at the start of the women’s movement. 

I do try to be helpful and maybe even inspiring to a younger generation coming up behind me, as well to all of the other women  around me. But sorry girls… I am doing it with perfectly imperfect body fully clothed. And I am also unfollowing everyone who feels that the world needs to see their booty in lace panties while they give me a long lecture on living a life of purpose. Put your clothes on, and go out and live that purposeful life and get your empowerment from life and not thousands of ‘likes’ on your Instagram. 

And disinfect that kitchen counter….. 

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    1. I have my own thoughts. It has to do with having so much insecurity that they still need to use their body for praise and attention. With #metoo they can’t get it from men anymore. But I could be way off base too! That happens alot!

  1. I have always felt the mind can be much more attractive than the body, but we live in a culture that does not support that. Social media is also SO VISUAL, that we feel the need to compete with that. I won’t and can’t. And I think insecurity is definitely a part of it. But I’m not of their generation, and doing those things wouldn’t help me anyway LOL.

  2. Now you’ve made me even happier about not being on IG! I’ve been hearing about midlife bloggers posing naked with their laptops (Calendar Girls gone bloggy??) I also struggle with the whole Fierce 50 thing where the women in the FB group post IG filtered photos of themselves and tell each other how “beautiful” they are – why?? I left that group and won’t be signing up for IG – just give me real women doing life on their own terms – that’s what Midlife is to me.

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