My Goal For 2019 Is To Have No Goals.

As 2018 winds up I feel like I should reminisce about all the goals I accomplished, all the lessons learned and what a better person that I have become. Because isn’t that the purpose of making our New Years Resolutions and goal setting on New Years Day?
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Well in that case I am happy to say…

* I am 20 pounds lighter, I am all toned up from daily exercise.

*My mind has been expanded by all the books I read and courses I took.

*I am debt free.

*And have the house renovations complete.

BUT since I also set the goal of being more honest and authentic, I must tell you that all of the above is a big fat lie. ( probably just like more of the FB and Instagrams that you follow.)

I did not accomplish a single goal on my list…except for honesty and authenticity. And to be honest…(haha, see that!) I am pretty damn ok with it! A few years ago, I set the goal of being happy, and that is still always the goal of life I guess. But the last couple of  years rather than resolutions,  I  bought into “goal setting” on New Years Day. But this year I am calling bull shit on that plan also.

The reason that I am calling bullshit is that when you are so focused on goals, this thing called life is floating by.  I think sometimes we miss out on so many other experiences that were not on the goal list. 

While we are so busy crushing goals, maybe we are missing out on living. Maybe not living the big dream life we want, but just living.  Living “the big dream” requires smaller goals to get there. It requires focus, it requires dedication, it requires lost sleep, hard work and blood sweat and tears.  I have come to realise that for me, chasing  big dreams like that keeps me from enjoying living.

IF we are just busy living our life, and when I say living I am speaking about following our butterflies, not the drudgery that we can get into in daily living, (or maybe we should just call that the drudgery of existing.) BUT if we are busy really living an authentic life, we will naturally find ourselves living our dream.  And maybe it is not the imaginary dream that we believe will come after we cross all those yearly goals off of our list.

That maybe goes totally against all the advice of all the experts, that get paid a lot of money, selling you course or a book about how to set your goals to achieve your dreams. Butt I have never been much of a rule follower, and oddly I am happier than I have ever been, even though I barely crossed a goal off my list.

So in 2018 when I busy not achieving my goals, I did lots of other stuff that wasn’t even on my goal list.

* I took some trips. One was a girls trip to Seattle for a bucket list concert with my daughter, one was a solo trip to Florida. ( my original goal list had no fun allowed in an effort to pay off debt)

* My purse making business exploded, in ways I never thought it could.

*After 10 years of being an insomniac, I started sleeping! ( I think it had something to do with lowering my anxiety about all my goals lists, and all the things I needed to do all of the time)

*I got a new puppy.

*Those are just a few of the big things… and no, they are not save the world big, but they are my world big, and that is all that matters.

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So of course I know that I could keep growing my purse empire,  become debt free,  lose some weight, and be a better person this year, but none of these are goal worthy.  I plan to keep paying off debt, I plan to stay healthy, and keep working on what makes me happy. These are just lifestyle choices for me now and it’s how I live. They are not goals. This year I do not even have goals. With so many people I care about fighting for life due to illness or disease, who went into the new year last year with big goals to crush,  I have learned it doesn’t even matter what goals you set….. life has a way of changing your course.

My goal is to just go into 2019 knowing what needs to be done….. make it to 2020! While doing this I want to experience what comes along, whether it is on a goal list or not. I will throw some cash at the credit cards, and I may take a trip. I will keep showing up in my sewing room and let the creativity flow… or who knows another opportunity may show up.  I may lose some weight… or I may not.  Maybe we will renovate the house, or maybe an opportunity for a new one will come up. And I will thoroughly love all the people in my life, because, just because we have no guarantee that we will make it to 2020 or if they will. 

2020 is not guaranteed for anyone…. and I am not going waste the experience of 2019 crossing goals off a list that may or may not even matter at the end of the day or the year.

Now if you are one of those people that loves setting goals and crushing them off of your list, then do it. Set those magnificent goals and crush each and every one of those babies. I will be over here, chasing butterflies and following whims and seeing where they take me.
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Here is to 2019!

 

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8 Comments

  1. Ha! The only New Year’s resolution I ever kept was the one to never make any New Year’s resolutions again. I used to make those but they were always particularly fake, things I would expect other (better?) people would expect me to do, and then I would feel bad about not doing them.

    When I finally realized that one New Year’s eve, I instantly resolved to not do that anymore!

    Congratulations on the travel, the business, and OMG PUPPY!!!

    1. Exactly. I have friends that set great goals…. going back to university, find work being an activist, running marathons etc. I really wanted to do a marathon, made the goal, the plan etc…it set me on a path to a big Hashimoto flare up. My body hated the goal my brain set. I never lost 20 pounds…despite trying my hardest. Anyway…. no more goals. I’m winging life and enjoying what comes. And yes!! I have a long haired Chauhaua pup named Maude!

  2. Congrats on the purse business taking off. And I’m glad you got to take trips, solo and with family. I agree that sometimes goals can make us more miserable than they promote happiness. I’ve stopped making NY resolutions. I might make very short-term goals (daily or weekly), but life changes too much for me to commit to something that takes a year to complete. Too much can change in a year.

  3. I haven’t made New Years resolutions for years. I used to have a word for the year on January 1, but I’d always forget what it was by January 31. (so much for that). Perhaps I learned lessons by losing some of my friends over the years, and right now the wife of one of my cousins has inoperable brain cancer. So you are so right – 2020 isn’t guaranteed. Really, for any of us. Life’s pink slip can arrive at any time, as much as we don’t want to believe it can happen to us. During my late mother in law’s last months (she passed away on Black Friday), I learned that sometimes you literally can only take it one hour at a time. But that’s enough. And I appreciate each sunrise all the more.

  4. I confess, I do write down all my plans–goals if you will. It’s part of my personality, partly necessity at midlife with MS! However, I gave up resolutions years ago. They became a weapon with which to beat myself up. I also opted out of the NYE goal/plan making, doing at my Birthday instead. There’s a lot less pressure, the plans kinder in May, it seems!
    Well done with the purse business. I’ll be checking it out!

    1. I have a rough outline of what I want and where I am going for the day. I struggle with an outoimmune disorder as well, and sometimes that complicates and changes plans for me. I say do what works! IF lists and goals works and keeps things flowing doing it! When I had kids in school, September always felt like my new year!

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