I doubt anyone got through a day on social media yesterday without seeing a few Me Too posts. (If you are triggered by this subject, please feel free to stop reading here. Everything I write is offered without judgement and strictly based on my own thoughts and experiences.)
As I look back at my 50 Years of life and I can honestly say that I can not post Me Too on my status. It is just not something that I have experienced. My heart breaks for the 1 in 4 girls or women who have been molested or assulted. I am so beyond grateful that I am one of the lucky ones. Based on my own Facebook feed, I have to wonder if I am an oddity.
But have I ever had my ass grabbed? Yes. Have I heard lewd comments at work or on the street? Yes I have. Have I had dirty/offensive jokes told in my presence? Of course. But I still do not feel offended enough or violated enough to post Me Too. I have to wonder why this is…. am I naïve, am I thicker skinned or am I just making excuses for the bad behaviour of men? At what point does one say Me too rather than Not me? I don’t know…and I guess it is up to each woman to decide for herself if she feels violated or not.
So yesterday a lot of women shared Me Too. Now the question is what happens next? While I am proud for so many speaking up, I did notice a lot of the posts almost became man bashing posts. One of the comments I read on a friend’s post was “yeah men, what are you going to do about this?” Is this the men’s responsibility to change this for women. Or do women need to go this on their own? Can we stop the division for a while and work together?
Of course this whole movement was spurred on by Harvey Weinstein Hollywood scandal. So many women were violated over the years, and so many knew about this, yet he was very successful. But it has been kept quiet, even though everyone knew. How many women advanced their careers with him? What about women in the power positions seducing the young men eager to advance their careers? Is it the same?
With almost every woman I know posting Me Too, it makes you wonder are all men predators and aggressors, or is it only a few that are repeat offenders doing this over and over again? Because all of the men I know are really good men who are doing everything to treat women with dignity and respect. I would hope each and every one of them would punch the lights out of anyone who hurt or abused a women. But nothing can change if women stay quiet.
Another thing I want to bring up is slightly embarrassing for me to admit… but I also have grabbed a few cowboy asses in bars. I have made lewd comments and told dirty jokes. But in my defense I was young and drunk…..oh wait, that is a total double standard. Part of the problem is we have a double standard. No I do not see men posting Me Too posts, but I am sure many men can feel equally as violated by the actions of women. Maybe men are not as afraid of women because the are not as strong, and not as powerful. But does that mean it is ok?
A lot of the same women who posted Me Too have also been known to post memes of half naked firefighters or construction workers with sexual comments. Is this ok? Is it ok for men to post memes of half naked women with sexual comments?
The Me Too movement has certainly generated a lot of conversation. Conversation is good. Conversation without action will just make it another day that will show up in your Facebook memories a year from now.
Men need to smarten up!
Men we expect better!
We demand better!
Women… we can do better too!
Now I know this thought is not going to be popular, maybe women ( actually society ) need to start setting the examples of how we want to be treated. We can’t keep sending out mixed messages by silence. We need to stop tolerating bad behaviour. We need to call it out when it happens. We need to press charges, we need to not meekly just take it. Judging by what we see on social media, I would hope you would have your whole tribe standing beside you. We maybe also need to stop grabbing men’s asses and making sexual comments.
We need to teach our boys to stand up to and maybe even punch anyone who disrespects girls ( yes I said it, and I stand by it). We need to choose men to father our children who set positive examples for their children about what real men are.
Then again because I am in the Not Me group, maybe I do not know what I am talking about. But society can do better, society deserves better.