When Did It Become Cool To Be An Alcoholic?

When did it become cool to be an alcoholic? When did it become cool to proudly display your alcoholism on t-shirts and go cups? I know this post will not be popular opinion and will hit a few nerves and roll a few eyes. I just want the other ‘uncool’ women like myself to know that not everyone is drinking wine from their coffee cup.


Alcoholism and sipping wine from a go cup by housewives has been around forever. Most of the time it was a private family secret. Little Timmy didn’t tell people that mommy had vodka in her coffee cup. Now he doesn’t have to because mommy proudly sports a go cup that says ‘this may contain vodka’. Maybe while wearing a t-shirt that says ‘ drinks well with others’ on her way to ‘book club and wine night’.

Alcoholism seems to be just socially acceptable now, (although we don’t call it that) so I am calling out your ‘social drinking’ too, especially among women since they are my main readers. But I am not at all excusing the men. Buying a case of beer or bottle of whiskey and drinking it all as a way to unwind after a long day just isn’t cool. Needing a case of beer before you tackle anything only makes you fun for your drunken friends. The rest of the world really no longer wants to be around you.

But getting back to excessive drinking among women, the prevalence is what seems to be the most disturbing. Wine nights, wine clubs, book club with wine, wine cups, wine t-shirts…. it seems women are no longer keeping their drinking hidden, and are no longer embarrassed about it. I am all for equality and all, but I don’t know if this is a healthy way to be equal.

Wine and vodka drinking really seems to define you as part of the ‘cool mom’ group. But really you don’t need wine nights to be cool. Although since I am not part of the cool mom groups ( you know being a gramma and all) and I don’t really hang with the cool girls, I am only going by what I see on my Facebook feeds…. so maybe you do.

Maybe I just notice it more now that I don’t drink at all, although I was never a big drinker, and always was a light weight in the booze department. I quit drinking a few years ago when I was diagnosed with a couple of health issues that alcohol enhances. But I guess with social media, it seems that publicly proclaiming your alcoholism is cooler and more prevalent than ever before.

I really think that all the drinking and making it all look and sound so fun is a really a sign that women are just not handling life. It is not cool to say you are a struggling, overwhelmed, crying hot mess… you scare people off. It is cool to proclaim ‘ I need wine’ and all of your friends come to the rescue with bottles in tow, and you drink a bottle and problems are forgotten, at least until tomorrow. The same is true for men! Your buddies don’t want to hear how you feel you are failing at life, lost your job, or whatever…. but proclaim you have a case of beer and they will all be there for you!


I am not totally against drinking, although maybe it sounds that way. Having a drink or 2 can be a fantastic way to celebrate an event or relax sometimes. But does it need to be the main event or a daily event in life? When you are dealing with a job you hate, a marriage in trouble, an overly busy schedual by drinking instead of other healthy self care activities, lets be honest…you are an alcoholic. If you are avoiding the real issues by drinking…you are an alcoholic.

What might be even worse is feeling you need to proclaim your love of drinking to get invited to book club or fit in with the cool moms. All of the drinking isn’t cool. Whether you are a man or a woman your excessive drinking isn’t cool.

In my experience drinking your problems away instead of getting real about them doesn’t really make them go away. It just calms them down with that warm tingle the alcohol gives you. When the tingle wears off, your house is still a mess, you still hate your job, you are still unhappy in your marriage, and your sceduale is still too busy.

What if you gave up the notion that drinking is cool…because really, alcoholism isn’t cool.

What if you looked at your life without your wine glasses or your beer goggles and really figured out what is going on? instead of pouring a drink after another shitty day at work, rewrite your resume. Instead of pouring vodka into your go cup to watch yet another kids activity…maybe start limiting your kid’s activities. Seriously….they may need a break too.

Try doing things without beer, you will still have fun! Instead of pouring wine at the end of a long day to relax, have a bath or go for a walk.

If the thought if doing these things without alcohol makes you shudder or puts you into denial then honestly you may have a serious problem with alcohol. Seek professional help! Alcoholism is not cool.

Quit using alcohol to cope with your life, develop a life that you don’t need alcohol to cope with.

Oh..and quit wearing the t-shirts, drinking from the go cups and making all the social media posts that proudly display your alcoholism. It just isn’t cool.

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  1. You just expressed something that’s been on my mind. I might not go all the way to alcholism, but jeez-o-pete’s, why is everyone pouring wine cuz her day wasn’t rose-covered.

    I like wine, too. It seems like wine has become what cigarette smoking used to be.
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  2. I agree with everything you said !! With only 3 non drinkers in our group we get to see alot of the stupid things the others say or do. And really does seem to be the norm……..get together and drink. Weekends are meant for getting shit faced. When did we become teenagers again ??? I did that when i was young and have better things to do with my time on the weekends then drink !! I wont even start on the hangovers!!

  3. Yes, yes, and YES! And furthermore, why is it so socially acceptable to be a drunk? Everybody laughs at drunks, but then when you mention using a hit of marijuana to relax, it’s not OK anymore. Alcohol is so NOT MY DRUG OF CHOICE and hasn’t been for years now. It kills millions worldwide, ruining countless lives, and also causes cancer in large amounts. How is that funny? As a trained psychotherapist, I agree completely: change your life if you can’t deal with it. Whatever you’re not changing, you are choosing!
    Laura Lee Carter recently posted…Life in a very small town: La Veta ColoradoMy Profile

  4. Nothing funny about it. Maybe part of the reason it’s so “socially acceptable” is because marijuana is legal in so many states and is becoming socially acceptable. Alcohol used to be the “hardest” thing available. Now it’s “cute” to be a drunk. I am not a big drinker and didn’t even have my first drink until I was almost 40. Never acquired a taste for it. Thought provoking post.

  5. I don’t drink at all and don’t judge anyone for what they enjoy in their own homes, but I do have VERY strong opinions on drinking and driving. That is when you are involving me and my family. Also, parents who think it’s cool to drink with their kids.It happens a lot more often than people realize.
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  6. Well, I don’t know. I’m not a cool mom or a fitter-inner but I take a lot of the “All I want to do is rescue cats and drink wine” stuff with a grain of salt. I think for some, it’s a thing to kid about together, a thread of commonality to jump-start socialization?

    I see your point about the trend of normalizing mom-drinking in humorous terms. I think it is harmless on balance, but it probably does turn a lot of people off who have strong feelings about drinking.

    I see little jocularity about true alcoholism, which many will agree develops in shame and behind closed doors before it blows up and claims its victims. I have seen good friends wind up in ruins over the inability to stop drinking and they weren’t wearing any t-shirts that made light of it.

    I guess I see this as another version of the hostility-tinged “don’t talk to me until I’ve had coffee” thing. A message of “here’s how I behave and too bad if you don’t like it” that is part humor, part backlash at a super judgmental society.
    Susan C. Bonifant recently posted…Peace among the pieces: Standing up to anxietyMy Profile

  7. Amen………..it is worrisome to me to see so many women drinking so much. When our kids were little, we never drank during the week. If we went out on the weekends we would have one drink. But, I see 30+-year-old Mom’s drinking during the day while feeding their babies. It is so sad to me that they are so unhappy. Remember those cigarette commercials that made everyone think they needed to smoke to be cool. I think women have replaced that with having to drink to be cool. I do love a great martini……….but not every night. Moderation is very important. Not to mention, that for women even 3 drinks per week gives you a higher risk of breast cancer than those who don’t drink.

  8. Yes! You have expressed my thoughts on this. I hate seeing all those “jokes” that you can’t deal with your kids without your “mommy juice”. What’s going to happen when your kids are older and see that you just couldn’t deal with them? And the only way you could was to drink a goblet of wine? Don’t get me wrong, I like an occasional glass of wine or beer, but I’m not using it to escape. It’s not cute, it’s not funny. It’s time for these people to get help.

  9. I actually agree with all of your posts. Especially the wine. I am not a drinker and never have been, but my best friend is in recovery and now I notice just how blasé the concept of drinking is in our society.

  10. I don’t know you, of course, so I don’t know if it’s out of ignorance (I doubt it) that you seem to forget that alcoholism is a disease. Having once been that cool mom, but with no kid—I also find myself agreeing with you in some ways. So many of us seem to really rely on alcohol, too much, too often. I did. But I also did because I suffered, really suffered with PTSD and depression. And believe me, if only for a minute, the alcohol does help. In the long run, of course not. But so many people’s lives are not long run, and it’s through no fault of their own. I used to be a social worker, I know that to be true.
    Anita Irlen recently posted…found: my millennialMy Profile

  11. I think it is fine that you raised the question! Admittedly, my two “secret” Facebook groups have the word “wine” in the title so ….. there’s that. But our young daughters (and sons) are watching us to see how we cope, etc. Our messages matter.

  12. I’m not part of the ‘cool moms group’ either but I am part of the ‘cool grandmas’ group’ 🙂 I understand what you’re saying but I will would add most of the moms (because while I’m not in their group my daughter are) post those things and maybe even wear the shirts but not a one of them actually does the drinking. They have little kids and drinking is just not something they partake of unless they get a night out with their SOs. Even then, they aren’t drinking much. I’m sure there are those who do. I know a mom who is in the 600 days of not drinking so I do know it’s out there and then there’s the husband (mine) who struggled with alcoholism for a couple decades but there are those who are just looking for laughs and understanding without the actual drinking. Of course, I get your point (or what I think your point is) how healthy is the display whether you’re doing the drinking or not because I’m not sure the kiddos can discern the difference.

    1. I picked up my grandkids from a summer camp field trip 2 days ago. While waiting for the bus the suburban suv with 3 mom’s was having some wine while they waited….in the SUV.

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