Life coaches…it is all we hear about now a days. Everyone has a life coach. Everyone is some sort of coach. We hope that they are going to help us find focus, set goals, follow through and ultimately reach those said goals! Then we will go on to live a wildly successful life.
This post is about my experience working with a coach and the totally amazing outcome.
Back in the early winter, I wrote about how I had won a session with a life coach. With her help I kind of got unstuck on a few things and got set up for my ‘happiness project’. This project is set to last for the rest of my life ideally and not just for 2017.
I now had some vision, some focus, and the goals of doing things that make me happy. Some of those things include reading health books, studying nutrition, and other health related topics. I want to be as healthy and happy as can be.
I was reading and learning so much that I had a brilliant idea about setting up my own coaching practice, geared at helping midlife women with all the changes and challenges that perimenopause and menopause brings. In talking to various women it was determined that this was very needed and wanted. Women are still floundering around with information that makes us look like moody, hormonal, temperamental basket cases. We are best to just take the antidepressants prescribed by our Dr. If nothing else just to keep us from upsetting our husbands too much.
Ok great start! Women need the information and support. They want it. This is going to be fantastic. I researched some more, I talked to others, joined some business FB groups, followed some coaches.. I did some business profiles, business plans and had lots of excitement and ideas.
At this point, I figured that I needed a little more help figuring out my next steps. My community is not exactly a thriving metropolis of women who hire ‘coaches’ to help them with their health issues. I realised that this was going to have to be done online. I read up on branding, opt-ins, sales funnels, google analytics, up-leveling ….wait, what? I needed help. One of the online coaches I had started to follow and connect with was Vikki.
Vikki owns Positively Connected Coaching . She is a Certified Life Coach, Career Coach and a Gallup-Certified Strengths Coach, her areas of specialization are career coaching, midlife re-invention, and Strengths Coaching. She is fun, enthusiastic and just an all round great person. We bonded over discussing squishy grandbabies and how midlife is pretty awesome.
Hang on and bear with me… the amazing part of the story is coming! A couple of months ago I set up a video chat with Vikki. She started asking me what I enjoyed about past jobs. Of course my favorite job was a doula. So I discussed how I enjoyed helping women become mothers. How I liked helping women by giving them information. I just like helping others….because why wouldn’t I? Doesn’t everyone like helping others no matter what job the do? It gives us satisfaction. The reality was I had my own selfish reasons for loving the job. We talked about strengths. Well I like technology ( is the answer I should give, right?), learning, reading, researching, drinking coffee in my pjs, watching endless hours of HGTV and eating cheesecake…. She asked what was holding me back…. definitely overwhelm.
Ok, she set up some goals and tasks, small stuff, manageable stuff. The first assignment was to work on an opt in. Ok, how about we be more realistic..how about we start with a few ideas for opt ins? An opt in is that thing that pops up when you read a blog post or check out a website. Fill this pop up out and get my free whatever. ( usually an ebook, free recipie, or free something) Once you fill this in… you have opted in and your email is collected and now I can email you weekly with ‘offers’.
Sure I can do that. I came up with ideas. But I was just filled with sheer dread. I don’t like this, it feels sleezy. I started to put it off, all of a sudden getting very busy with other things. I started sewing more again. Sewing is another love I have. All of a sudden this idea of a midlife or perimenopause doula didn’t feel right. I worked in the yard, I sewed, I did everything except what I was supposed to be doing. I told Vikki I thought I needed a break, and I felt like I was moving in another direction. She assured me that it is fine to redirect my course if I needed.
Here is the surprising part of my story about using a life coach. While I had wanted help getting started with what I thought was brilliant, it turns out that it was actually pushing me off course and farther away from happiness. Her questions pushed me to think about all the behind the scenes stuff. I didn’t want to worry about branding, opt ins or developing a huge email list so that I could get in front of my audience on a regular basis. I do not want to sell myself constantly on social media everyday. I do not want to do it. I think just like how some women marry the wrong person because they are in love with the idea of being in love, I was in love with my perimenopause doula or coach idea, but I was really not in love with actually doing it.
The bigger surprise is after much introspection I was a bit embarrassed to admit to Vikki that I don’t even really like helping people. *GASP* Who says that?? But I don’t. I like to read and write about midlife issues… but primarily I do it because I enjoy it. I do not do it with the purpose of helping someone else. Although… if anything I do write does help someone, then that makes me really happy. If it spurs someone to set off on a mission to read and learn for themselves then I feel good.
I also am primarily a selfish person. I do not mean that in a narcissistic and selfish way because I am not that at all. But I am very selfish with my time. I like to be alone, and I really find helping other people as their support or their go to person to be really draining. I do better when I am creating things, working alone making things, writing things or getting things done. I am a maker, a doer. If someone stumbles across something I do or reads what I am writing and feels inspired then great.
I do not think this was really the outcome either Vikki or I was expecting from our sessions. She was also excited about my ideas. But the amazing thing is I feel relaxed and at peace again. I feel creative again. I can write from the heart without thinking about creating sales funnels or building a list.
I can sew the christening gowns that I love making and have a small business with.
I can work in my garden and share the beauty with the world.. or at least the people walking by.
This is all exciting for me and not a chore. Our life’s work should not be a draining chore.
So folks…that is my experience with coaching. It was amazing, and if I am ever feeling stuck again you can be sure I will be booking a session with Vikki! Please if you are feeling stuck and need a life coach check her out. She will help…just maybe not in the way you would expect!
And as always…. if you are struggling with perimenopause, send me a message. If I can help I will, even if it just means pointing you in the right direction.