What will your obituary say about you? What do you want your obituary to say about you? This is certainly something to think about before the time comes.
Now, don’t get me wrong. This is not meant to be a morbid subject. This is meant to be an assignment to get you thinking. What do you want to be remembered for….years from now ( many, many years; if you are lucky) when you pass on and someone has to buy you a tombstone and write your eulogy or obituary?
What a great question though. Are you showing up everyday the way you want to be remembered? I know for a fact that I am probably not. I certainly have some changes to make in order to live how I want to be remembered.
I have been to funerals, where when the eulogy is read you can almost feel people rolling their eyes. I have heard ‘ this is fucking bullshit’ muttered under someone’s breath. ( true story!) Nice kind and flowery words, but we all know that person did not live up to them. If this person loved life and his family so much…why did he get drunk and slap his wife around and swear at the kids?
I don’t know about you… but I do not want anyone rolling their eyes when my eulogy is read. I do not want the writer of it to have to lie either.
I don’t want to be laying in my casket muttering ‘ this is fucking bullshit’ under my breath.
I do not want the family to have to struggle with what to write as not to make me sound like a cranky, bitchy, moody, cantankerous old woman. Not that I think I am really like that (all of the time)… but you know, going back to other eulogies about other people that I have heard and obituaries that I have read.
An honest eulogy may start like this.
“Thanks for coming everyone. Today we are here to mourn a life wasted on to much drama, to much insecurity, and to many frown lines. Despite living a life many only dream of, she wasted it complaining and found a way to make it way harder than it ever needed to be…. “
I could go on. But no, I think I really want to change up the rest of my obituary.
I do not want to be remembered for never wearing a bathing suit because I always felt too fat. Who cares… really, this is just plain old silliness. Be as fit and healthy as you feel you want to be and then don that bathing suit and jump in the pool, or the ocean! You want to be remembered for your love of the beach and the memories that are made there.
If you are one of those people who are blessed with a beautiful, society approved body, that you love to show off in a bikini, it is also nice to be remembered as a kind and compassionate person. A person who would never make fun of anyone else, their situation, their body, their home, their car or their status in life.
I do not want to be remembered for never using my good dishes that belonged to many generations of women before me, who also never used them. Be careful with them, and treat them as very special items. But use those depression glass plates and eat cookies on them and have a tea party with the little person you intend to hand them down too… so that she hears the stories that go with the dishes and understands their value. After all, you want your loved ones to know that you valued family traditions and you want to share these memories and stories with them.
I do not want to be remembered for being the mom/gramma who didn’t allow silliness in the house. Ok, not all silliness all of the time. After all, you want to be remembered as someone who could behave sometimes, and was a voice of reason, but was also the master of the tickle fight.
I don’t want to be remembered as the Gramma who did not use the pretty homemade soaps her 8 year granddaughter made her for Christmas. Use them and tell her how much you loved them. I guarantee she will you make more, and she will remember that you were the person who always loved what she made and encouraged her creativity.
I don’t want to be remembered for being a clean freak. Oh wait… that’s really not a bad thing, so maybe you do! You want to be remembered as someone who took pride in her home and belongings, but never yelled at someone for accidentally wearing muddy boots to the bathroom. You also let them eat chips in your bed. Those are good eulogy stories.
I don’t want to be remembered as the person that held grudges for years….so long in fact that I didn’t even remember what made me mad at someone in the first place. This may be on of those instances where being stubborn is not a good thing. In an ideal world you will have all the fences mended before your eulogy is ever written.
I don’t want to be remembered as one who never took care of herself and left the world way to soon. So, eat healthy, exercise, stay a healthy weight, monitor your blood pressure, throw out the cigarettes, limit the booze, get off the couch and you instantly cut your risk of a deadly disease by at least 50%. Take care of yourself, so that you are healthy enough to get out there and make many happy memories.
I don’t ever want to be remembered as the person who did not have time for those she loved. Not now.. maybe later. After. Maybe next time. Next week….. Make the time now! We are all running out of time everyday. Include those you love in what you are doing and in your life. No… you cant always bring them to work or volunteer activities with you. Yes, there are things that need to done now. But make sure you are remembered for making time for others, involving them as much as you could, and teaching them why you are so passionate about what is taking your time.
I don’t want to be remembered for being someone who didn’t do anything with my life, besides watching a lot of TV and gossiping with my friends. Go out and find what sparks you. Find that job that makes you happy. Do volunteer work that fulfills you. Take classes, keep learning and expand your mind. Be a positive person and inspire those around you. Be remembered for all the good you do and the good you have brought to the world around you.
I really do not want to be remembered as the cranky, bitchy, moody, cantankerous old woman. I think these women ( or men) are cranky, bitchy, moody, cantankerous and old because they didn’t spend enough time finding joy in every day. They didn’t spend enough time with those they loved, they didn’t mend fences, they didn’t look after their health and maybe they just didn’t play on the beach enough. They lived a life without purpose and without passion. You really do not want to be that person.
Oddly enough in writing this… not once did money come up. Not once did I want to be remembered for how much money I made ( or didn’t make). Although if it does come up in my obituary I imagine it will read something like this…
“She died a very rich woman ….and left it all to her cats. They will decide where the money goes”
Just kidding…we all know that I spend every dime I make and a lot of the dimes my husband makes on gardens, flowers, cameras and concert tickets. But my point is money is great, but it is the kind of person you were is what you are remembered for.
So what about you…. are you going to rewrite your obituary and live a life that your loved ones will be proud to write about in your eulogy? I know I am.
I want to be remembered as someone who loved those around her, was happy, fun, helpful, adventurous, and liked to learn new things. Someone who always took too many pictures, was always in the garden, liked to make pretty things and made the best chocolate chip cookies around.