Embrace the Grey… or Fight it?

Ok, this is just a trivial, shallow post about aging and  hair colour. First world problems of middle age women dying and plucking all those glimmers of silver that start popping up and then start inviting all their friends and relatives to move in too.

Or is it really trivial and shallow……? This can be a really big deal for some women. Myself included. It is one aspect of aging we can ‘pretend’ to have control over, every 4-6 weeks  As men age and go grey the look distinguished, mature, successful, wealthy! When I think of myself with grey hair I think of this…


My own little course, grey, bastards first showed up about 10 years ago. I was 38 and getting my hair done for my daughters graduation and the hair dresser said  ”oh you have a grey hair here”.

“What”??? I damn near jumped out of the chair.

“Oh maybe not, it must just be the weird lighting in here” she wisely said.

Her retraction made me feel better….but deep down I knew the truth and shortly after I started colouring my hair regularly. My new friend and hairdresser Shelly was usually given free reign and she ‘took care of them’ on a monthly basis. The joke was that she would be coming to the nursing home and taking care of business…

We have since moved, and I began to just colour my hair on my own. But those glimmery bastards are having a big ol party up on my head. I am needing more and more dye, more and more often.  I am blond and according to my husband, they are not even noticeable. But this guy will wear blue with green, plaid with plaid and socks and sandals if left to his own…and I also suspect his eyesight is failing, and he likes to say what I want to hear.  So I do not trust him. I can see them, so I know they are there.

I asked on a facebook group that I am on made up of peri and menopausal women. Results are about 50/50. With some women totally embracing the grey and feel very liberated by it. Some of these women shared their pictures, and yup they are embracing and rocking the grey….while running marathons, or battling illness. The others are not going down without a fight and they look fabulous too.

A search on Pintrest for grey hair seems to bring up a whole lot of young girls …and yes anyone under 35 now is a young girl to me… sporting the ‘grey hair trend’. Hmmm….. that truly doesn’t help.


If I do decide to give up the fight and surrender the hair dye, I am thinking there has to be a way to grow it out gracefully. Maybe instead of doing all over dye, I will just add more ashy blonde streaks and highlights, so the glitter blends with the ash and my own ‘natural’ hair colour as well at least until I get used to the idea of seeing those greys and learning to love them…and according to some women I talk to, yes they love their grey! Keeping a great hairstyle and having healthy hair will go along way as well.


I am envisioning something like this from www.hairstylesidea.us which is a far cry from anyone that looks old and fragile. This woman looks vibrant, healthy and totally sexy!


What about you? I would love to hear if you are embracing the grey or are you still putting up a fight? I don’t think it matters what route you choose… I am not trying to convince anyone of what they should do, you know yourself best. I think we all should do what makes us happy and feel fabulous.

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  1. With me having darker hair those greats really show and I honestly am not ready for them to be main main hair Color although I only Color my hair now every 3 months or so and I do try to stay closer to my natural dark brown but red keeps calling me !! So I try to alternate those colours when I do Color my hair.

    1. I don’t know if I am ready yet or not… I am finding the grey mixed with blond looks kind of frumpy. So like I said… I may try streaks and highlites to blend it all for awhile instead of all over colour.

  2. I have the same line of thought as Annette. There is a huge contrast between my dark brown hair and my white (not grey) hair. I started greying early (18), and by 25 I was covering my grey with hair dye. At 48, I am now 80% white haired if left uncolored. I am just not ready yet to embrace such a drastic difference for me. Every 6 weeks I fight it with color!I have no idea when I will feel ready. All I know for certain is that I’m not yet!

  3. I turned 51 last July & swore after 25 years of dying my hair everything from ash blonde to dark brunette that day would be the last time I colored my hair. I am embracing my platinum grey hair. Its a slow process letting the brunette grow out but I’m really diggin what is appearing before my eyes with every wash! I’m also diggin the extra looks I’m getting from men of all ages lol.

  4. I’ve had a gray streak since I was in my twenties. It started spreading to the rest of my head about ten years ago. truthfully, I just can’t be bothered to die it. If you think about it though, it’s really bullshit that we feel that pressure to fight aging while it’s fine for men to age gracefully.

    1. I think we can age gracefully and still dye our hair. I do know many men who struggle also and use “Just for Men’ or other products for grey in the beards or hair. Aging is inevitable, but he great thing is we all get to choose how we want to do it.

  5. Oh I am fighting the fight! I am a natural brunette but have gone blonder with highlights to hide the grey. I am now described as a blonde which cracks me up. There are very few middle aged women who look great with grey hair. You have to have the right hair texture and very smooth, young looking skin. I have neither. My greys are wirey and I have some wrinkles. Grey looks awful on me. Just to confirm I checked with my colorist who agreed I would look at least 10 years older which is reason enough for me to keep fighting. I will die platinum blonde!

    1. Yes!!! I see beautiful pics of grey haired women. I find mine just look old and frumpy. I’m pretty sure my latest frown lines come from looking at mine in the mirror!

  6. I’v gotten sick of the upkeep. Dying every 4-6 weeks is time consuming and expensive. I haven’t colored my hair in a few months and it’s been nice. My “natural highlights” are silvery and scatter enough that I don’t have that dreaded skunk stripe. That said, I have my days when I think “maybe I need to dye it again.”

  7. I’ve had a grey streak since I was in my twenties, and it was cool until it started to spread. With that said, I refuse to dye my hair to pretend it’s not going mostly grey. For me, it’s a feminist thing and a refusal to fall into the bullshit trap that the cosmetic industry has set up for women, so they can make billions and billions of dollars. Our society has convinced us that it’s ok for men to age but not women, and until we fight that notion, nothing will change. Beauty comes from within.

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